For those of you who don't know me, there is a slight possibility that I am the clumsiest person like ever. I am almost constantly running into something. Does not matter if its a wall, or a person, or you know....air. (Yea...its possible to run into / trip over air....) For those of you who do know me, wicked sorry for all those times I crashed into you...( You know who you are.)
Now, before you freak out, I only almost set the house on fire, but it totally was not even my fault. (This time...) Also, it *probably* sounds like the falling and the fire had something to do with each other. Nope. Two separate things. ...Oh. It just occurred to me. I almost set the house on fire twice today. Second time was my fault.
I really wish I could blame my total clumsiness on the whole Lyme Disease induced vertigo thing, but nah. Its just me. Being me. Again. Brace yourselves for my clumsiness. Here I go again (la la la, la la la la, la la la la.......Sorry song mode. Im done now) Oops, I did it again (da da da da......haha oops.) Ok, so thank you for those of you who got both of those songs. I appreciate that ever so much.
So, I need to tell you what my high heel boots look like so you understand that, even though I *knew* they were a bad plan, I didn't necessarily register how much of a bad idea it was. I know I know, "But Rowan, you cant even walk straight without heels on, that is so dumb" but they are sooooooo pretty. Again, those of you who know me, know I really hate shoes and avoid them whenever possible, even when its snowing. They are black leather boots, and have lacing and they are gorgeous. They are Medieval styled, and they just make me smile every time I look at them.
However, because I AM AN IDIOT I wore them anyway. Of course, it led to back pain, wrist pain, and many many bruises, but again I will say, I am an idiot.
The question is, which to explain first. The almost catching things on fire, or the falling? I guess I will tell you in the order of events.
So, I went into the bathroom to brush my teeth and stuff before heading to babysit for the Forestdale Women's Bible study. I know, sounds like a normal morning. Ha. No.
Nothing is normal in my house, pretty much ever.
We have a light above the sink, and I am in the habit of turning it on. Mostly because my family turns off the other light to leave you in the dark, as it were. Its usually Dad or Jenna. Actually, its usually my Dad. So I went to turn on that light, and nothing went wrong, but when I went to turn it off was the issue. Yea, it would not turn off. Also, when I tried to turn it off, it started smoking. Whoops.... Mom rushed to turn the breaker off as soon as I said "Umm Mom the lights are smoking at me..." Funny thing was, that didn't turn them off. It took a few tries of flipping it on and off for it to actually go out. Weird right?
When I got home from babysitting, I went to sit on my bed and do Biology. Blah blah. Thats not the fun part. So after about half an hour I freaked out, remembering I had to take my pills. Well in my idiotic rush to get up, I caught the heel of my boot on the knitted blanket, falling off the bed onto my face, and knocking the laptop off my bed. (Laptop is fine by the way)
When I realized I did not hurt myself (badly) I tried to get up. My foot was stuck in the blanket, and would not budge. I tried twisting around to unhook my foot from the grasp of that deceivingly pretty, yet deadly blanket without much progress. Swallowing my pride, and ignoring the laughter that was about to ensue, I tentatively called out to my mother. In short, she said coming, and I was laying on the floor at an awkward - if not a tad painful - angle, cheeks burning with embarrassment from my idiocy, for about 10 minutes before she came up. She just sighed and unhooked me from the grip of the sneaky blanket.
Now for the second time I almost set the house on fire. Its not nearly as interesting as the light fixture almost exploding, (slight exaggeration) but it was still scary. I went to take care of the wood stove, and came up the stairs, forgetting that a few hot coals had fallen onto the floor. About 5 minutes later, I suddenly remembered and rushed down the stairs, shoving the coals into the ash bucket. Yup. Not that interesting. Seriously, I am not usually that irresponsible. I have no clue what happened.
Does anyone have a spare brain? I am really in need of one..........
And now, for the big event of the day. Haha.
It started with me going out to refill our chickens water, and my finding the first egg in the nesting box. I ran, - well, more like really quickly wobbled, my yard is a hill and its slippery and I was in heels - to show Mom and Jenna the egg. They were as ecstatic. Anyway, I went back outside to continue my chore humming "I has an egg, la la la good chickens egg egg egg we have an egg bop bop de do la la we have an egg. Egg, egg, eggie egg egg" (Yes. I know. I have issues. Deal with it.) and decided that I should check the yard for more eggs. Now, those of you who have been to my house, will know about that really treacherous staircase, made of little wooden pillars. its really quite beautiful, but dont go down it when they are wet. Or in heels. Guess what I did. Went down them when they were wet....and in heels.
It kind of felt like one of those slow motion falls, where you can feel yourself falling, but you dont have time to react, just to watch yourself fall. Kind of scary. So I fell wicked hard on my back, and slid down the whole way. I just kinda layed there for half a second, and thought, "Wow...that was really dumb. Haha" and then I started crying cause my back hurt so bad. According to my mother, I have a piercing scream. She heard me from the living room. Heh-heh.... Also, after I screamed for my Dad...haha my poor neighbor. I heard her go "What WAS THAT??? Is she ok???" Funny...how she automatically knew it was me.
But yea, I am an idiot, almost set the house on fire, got captured by a blanket, almost set the house on fire again, and then fell down wet wooden stairs cause I am an idiot. Fun right?
Mom left a little while ago and before she left she said "Dont call me unless the house catches on fire" I just snickered and she said, after giving me one of those long suffering looks "Rowan, stay away from the woodstove unless its really necessary" I just snickered again and said Yes, mom. So now I am making dinner for Jenna and I, trying not to injure myself more, or move when its not necessary. My back hurts really bad. I dont even want to think about all the bruising that is gonna be there. Haha.
Oh my. That is a long post. If you read all the way through, I really appreciate it. I
t took me a long time, because my Lyme has made me veryyyy easily distracted. You know how people usually joke about "Ohh shiny" or "Hey, look! A chicken!" ?? Yea those are not jokes with me. Partly because I have chickens, and partly cause my brain is scrambled. :-D Have a lovely night! (Or day....or whatever time you are reading this.)